I am still riding the depression train these days and unfortunately my medicine just seems to numb not only the negative thoughts, but most things I enjoy as well. I actually thought long and hard about bothering to go out looking for snow scenes after this recent storm and I must have looked out our windows at least half a dozen times trying to convince myself to make an effort. The best way to explain how I feel most days is with two words, who cares? That is not to say no one cares about me but instead how my mind interprets and processes things and its more of an internal dialog. Photography has been possibly one of my most rewarding endeavors and something that I view as a positive contribution to this world, no matter how small.My sense of worth is directly linked to my creative ability and when depression or the effects of medicine to deal with it dulls that down, it seems to fuel the fire so to speak.
I have read about a number of famous people including the lead singer of a band I like who have committed suicide just when their families say they seemed on top of the world? I can say I completely understand what they went through and their decisions are not real shocking to me. The brain is very complex and I have seen myself at my unbelievable best for a short time when I started my meds, and now its just this kind of day-to-day existence of trying to manage the weight of the world pushing down.
So if you bothered to read the above ramblings, let me now tell you about the photo. It was exactly 10 pm that I finally decided I was going to go out so I headed to a local town to look around. I found several shots in town and the next time I looked at my watch it was midnight and I was amazed how time flew by. I then got in my truck to head home and on the way got sidetracked by stopping at the above location. When I pulled in I knew there was potential and so the search for a great angle began, and this was complicated by a bright white light on the building on the right. I chose my angle carefully to use one of the lamp posts to act as a shield from the obnoxious light. The last thing I did was position my truck in the parking lot so I could turn my light bar on to help balance the high contrast scene. This storm was one of the clingiest I think I may have ever seen and even when the wind picked up,it still stayed put better than most times. I wish I could get back to more frequent posting but enjoy this beauty for now. One last thing, it was almost 2:30 am till I left for home and I am still tired.